2 Months Worth of Bibles

I have always said that there is enough to be fixed in your own country, no one needs to go to another one to help. Kind of like how we need to take care of ourselves before we can help anyone else. Well, I’m a hypocrite. The two missionary trips I applied to were both out of the country. One for Cusco, Peru, volunteering as a nurse in some of their facilities. The other is to ride along side our US Navy, volunteering as a civilian Nurse. Since I became a nurse in the first place to eventually join the Navy, the latter makes the most sense, right? I’d be able to see if it’s really something I want without the 6 year commitment. 
Well, Peru! Here I come! Why? I have no idea. It just feels right. Gods telling me to go to Cusco. Why did I even apply to that program to begin with?! God. God put it in my heart so I’m going to Cusco! 

Now to explain this to my family…

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding.

Proverbs 3:5

I have just over a month to raise some funds to help me out for the two months I’ll be away. Check out my link please!
https://www.crowdrise.com/healing-peru/fundraiser/ambereggli

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Interning Sucks… Cancer Is Worse!

  
Getting patient A ready to go home on hospice while family member from patient B is in the hall crying for me because she has questions about what to do now, and a patient a few rooms down was just found non-responsive… Yep. That’s what my first day of interning looked like. Let me tell you, I’ve read about all of this in nursing books and I have passed all my tests leading me up to be an RN on the floor, but damn. It’s a whole other world when you are actually up and doing it yourself.

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.”

Matthew 5:4-5

So I’m half way through my precepting (last internship) hours and I am really feeling that warmth flowing down my inner legs. Yep, I am ready to pee myself any minute during these shifts! During my orientation of the hospital my precepting nurse opened a door to what looked like a closet and told me, “this is where we go to cry!” Welcome to Oncology. 

It’s amazing, to see people come in and get treated, but I’m not working in the emergency room anymore… This is a hospital unit just for patients with cancer diagnosese. It’s sad watching my patient receive chemotherapy for the first time. It’s heart breaking to watch my coleges comfort a young wife after finding out there’s nothing else medicine can do for the young husband. 

“I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better. But to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account.”

Philippians 1:23-24

One morning in particular, I was assigned to three out of four patients. Remember, all of them are in some sort of critical situation and are living with and/or fighting cancer right now. It was so heart breaking but I told myself that I am so honored to be able to be that person to hold their hand through this rough part of life. I get to see these people in their most vulnerable states, and they look to my team members and I for support and comfort. 

Well about an hour in to my shift I received a few calls that I ignored, and then a couple text messages. My grandmother, whom I take care of as much as she needs, is in need of going back to the hospital. My cousin who is fighting cancer for the third time is no longer recieving treatment due to not being healthy enough, and my grandfather is having his first chemo treatment this week. Everything around me hit way too close to home now. The minute my preceptor met with me again, I apologized for what may be unprofessional or inappropriate and excused myself for the day. 

“We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves.”

Romans 15:1

Yes, being an intern in a new hospital is terrifying. Carrying around my drug book, aka new bible, to make sure I don’t medicate someone incorrectly is exhausting. Most of all, knowing four people’s lives are in my hands and their well being is based on my nursing judgement… Yes, my nerves make me throw up! I’ve thrown up, starved, binged, cried, screamed, and even zoned out during important phone calls. Interning feels like the most difficult thing in the world. That’s until I remember other people are dealing with bigger issues. 

Happy Mothers Day

Another 5am trip to the local flower shop to pick up Moms big yellow sunflowers wrapped in brown paper. Mmm, the smell of fresh roses! That slight burn in your nostrils from the cold crisp air. All the birds singing the song of their people! That’s what Morher’s day morning looks like for me. Then, it turns into 18 grown adults, 7 children, 3 dogs, and a tortouse, all hanging out in the backyard by the pool. It’s sunny, it’s smokey, it’s loud and most of all, it’s surrounded with food and fresh flowers. 

  
Mother’s Day at my parents house is so much fun! All my mom wants to do is get together with family and feed everyone. Every year that’s all she wants, but this year my sister and I thought we’d surprise her with a little more. We didn’t want to take away from what she asks for and her annual tradition, so we bought her tickets for ziplining in Catalina Island for another weekend. Booked a hotel, typed up a personally made itinerary, and put all that love into a little envelope addressed to “Mom!” Well, guess what? That weekend just happened! 

   
 

We took a boat to the pretty Island, had dinner and relaxed at the hotels jaccuzi. It was such a wonderful weekend! The weather was perfect for us to hang out at the beach and then strap up to fling our bodies through the protected and secluded land. 

You will make known to me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; In Your right hand there are pleasures forever.

Psalms 16:11

The tour consisted of two workers that were so friendly and so educating, about 20 minutes of learning how to fly, 7 other people, and 5 different lines to ride. The air was fresh, the scenes were God given. The entire experience was just remarkable!  

         

Lactose Tolerant

Yep! That’s tolerant! So after a good few months of being sick and not knowing what was happening to my body, I think it’s all behind me now! …not like it used to be, either! 

So I came up with the conclusion that I was finally hitting my lactose intolerant days and posted about my TMI porcelain explosions. I know, I probably didn’t need to remind you. Well, I’ll move on. I went to the doctors and quickly found out that I had slush in my gallbladder (doctor was thinking stones) and that I had bleeding stomach ulcers from a bacteria called H. Pylori. Awesome! I got to take 9 pills a day for 2 weeks and then 2 pills a day for the following 2 weeks. 

You are the God who works wonders; you have made known your might among the peoples.

Psalms 77:14

I just went to the doctors yesterday for a follow-up and all is well! I have only had one gallbladder attack in the past month, no more bacterial infection in my stomach, and best news of all, I had a bowl of ice cream and nothing but happiness after! I have eaten an entire pack of string cheese this past week and I did so with no regrets! Haha! Maybe a little while I did a 10 and a half mile run, I could feel the extra weight slowing me down. 

  
Yay! In my short experience with more diet restrictions, my best friend and I went to a Celiacs Disease convention (for her) and while there, I tried a lot of different vegan dishes. We ate all these things that were dairy-free and so delicious, I couldn’t even tell! The Mac n Cheese was by far my favorite, and since it was dairy free, it was healthier than what I would have been eating on a normal diet. I might be allowed to eat cheese now (and will eat a lot of it), but I’m going to replace some things for healthier alternatives! Yay! 

Today We Ride!

So today I decided to ride instead of run. The 2015 LA Marathon was this morning! My goodness, it was beautiful! My friend, Eric, and I went for a bike ride down the course to the finish line with intentions of cheering on the runners, whether they were teammates of ours or not. Well, there we a few mishaps throughout the day, but that makes for a great story!

I got off work at 730am and headed home to get ready for the event! Showered and put on my team running shirt, packed my backpack and put my padded shorts on! Sounds like I’m ready, doesn’t it! Well, I was but my bike wasn’t… My bike tires are flat and I don’t have the correct pump for it!

Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible”

Matthew 19:26

Running late, as usual, Eric finally shows up to my house and we load up. On our way to LA we hit a Big 5 so I can buy a pump that will work on both of our bikes! We drove into LA and found a side street by a Starbucks to leave the car and start our ride!

We are well into our second mile and I hear a loud clinking noise. I looked back to find Eric walking his broken bike over to the near-by curb. Runners are passing us as we sit on the side of the route cheering us on! Haha! It was so funny how the roles turned. Quick thinking lead us to the decision that Eric just needs to buy a better bike! I let him take my bike to go get the truck and come back to pick me and the broken bicycle up. We headed to the nearest bike shop to pick out a beauty!

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The bike shop owner saw what a rough start we were having so offered a cold drink while we found the perfect bike! Since we were in a rush to get back, it didn’t take too long. We picked out a beauty, Eric tried it out, and back to Starbucks we went. Finally back on the road, riding the course and cheering the runners on like planned. We were passing people that passed us an hour prior. It was fun to see their faces when they recognized we were the ones struggling. Here they were, mile 20 and seeing how the struggle is always temporary. They started picking up their feet a little higher and were singing along with my music. It was awesome seeing all the different ages out there and hearing their stories!

We finally made our way to the finish and found our girl, Jessi! She finished running her very first full marathon! I don’t think our small family of runners could have been any more proud! To celebrate, we parked our bikes at Buca Di Beppo and had pasta, pizza, and beer!

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It was such a lovely ride down to the beach, hearing inspirational stories, and eating to celebrate our loved ones accomplishment! Now… Well, now Eric and I have to ride back to the car. That ride was slightly down hill the whole way… That meant our ride back was going to be just as long, but slightly up hill the entire way. All I could think was, ‘Thank God we are parked by Starbucks!’

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A Toast To A True Hero

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Now if everyone will please raise your glass! We all know why we’re gathered here, but incase you’ve had too much to drink, we’re here to thank a true super-hero. No, not Batman nor Superman. We’re here to thank my uncle, Frank Phillips.

No man that warreth entangleth himself with the affairs of this life; that he may please him who hath chosen him to be a soldier.
2 Timothy 2:4

Being the youngest sibling in the family isn’t always easy; especially when you’re the only girl. I remember this one Thanksgiving my family from other states came to celebrate with us. My older cousins were all roller-blading up and down the street while my brothers and I were playing Fun-Air Scoop Ball with my uncles in the grass. Everyone was dominating on me. That’s until Frank picked up a yellow scooper and helped me out. I was no longer the loser little sister. Together, we beat all three of my competitive brothers and even my other uncle, John. From that moment on, he became a hero in my eyes. Once I grew older I realized, I’m not the only one who thinks of him as a hero. The rest of the world knows about his super powers, too. He is a hero to others for different reasons though.

When I say world, I mean he is respected and recognized globally as a great manager, an admired leader, and also for his intense security skills. Frank has accomplished so much that has contributed to the freedom that we live with today! He served an 18-year career as a Navy SEAL. After that, he established Golden Seal Enterprises. Yes, these two amazing things really stand out, but they aren’t his only accomplishments. Please don’t get me started with them, there are just so damn many . . .

Just to name a few: He was personally selected as a founding member of the Navy’s first SEAL Team Six and first Red Cell Team. He’s achieved many certifications and licenses such as Paramedic, Diver Medic, PADI Master Scuba Instructor, NRA Firearms Instructor, and so much more. He’s a good husband, father, grandfather, son, and friend. Like I said, don’t get me started!

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We always hear about how much our veterans do for us. We are always told to thank a vet the next time you see one. Well, I’m saying thank you. The next time you see a vet, give them your thanks. The next time you meet a vet, shake their hand and tell them thank you! They are extremely humble so you may not realize it, but they have gone that extra mile to give us what we have today. I love and admire you so much, Frank. For you will always be a super-hero to me!

Because I Can!

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The cold, dry air was burning my wet, dripping nose. The birds were starting to sing their morning songs. That weird lighting on the streets from the combination of the suns glow starting to shine and the street lights glow. I went for a 4 mile run this morning at 5:30am. I was determined to get out there and get back into running early mornings! I woke up and though, “I’m going to be skinny!”

Well, by the time I got about three-quarters of a mile my nose was running like Niagara Falls, my lungs were burning worse than my calves were, and I felt like my heart was in my throat. I was no longer determined and I just ran back home. My 4 mile run that used to be an easy warm up in the early morning was actually a mile and a half run in hell for me today. When I got home, I looked right at the shiny, red face in the mirror and thought to myself, what a disappointment! I beat myself up over it and then told my best friend about how down I felt.

She reminded me of why I’m even a runner to begin with! I run because I can. In high school I hated running! I hated running with a passion. You couldn’t even pay me to run without a soccer ball or softball around. To run track or cross country was such a miserable idea to me! Then, from age 18 to 20 I found myself having trouble with running. This trouble was no longer mental, it was physical this time around. If I tried to run, I’d get so light headed and weak and then pass out. I couldn’t even sing out loud in my car driving to school anymore without the fear of exhausting myself.

After a few times of passing out while hiking with my dog, Jolie, I decided to finally tell someone and get help. After many, many different doctors offices and seeing different specialist, I finally had the right medical tests done. Sitting in a cardiologists office, I was finally diagnosed with Wolff-Parkinson-White. It was the answer to my many prayers and questions. I scheduled myself for surgery to fix the problem immediately.

16 Make sure you don’t take things for granted and go slack in working for the common good; share what you have with others. God takes particular pleasure in acts of worship – a different kind of “sacrifice” – that take place in kitchen and workplace and on the streets.
Hebrews 13:16 MSG

So today was just a rough morning. I’m about to go for a two mile jog (good or bad, doesn’t matter) and then sing my little lungs out on my way to work tonight!! Tomorrow morning I’ll give it another shot! Hope things go better!

Goruck Challenge #1335

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So this was an amazing experience for me! This past weekend I became a GRT, which stands for Goruck Tough. The Goruck community is one that I’m proud to be apart of! Everyone is so loving and no one is ignored or left behind. Whether you like them or not, these people are your resources. I will never feel alone because I know that’s not possible when being a member of this community! I am in a subgroup called Jesus Freaks as well. They are like the church of Goruck. We have a facebook page that allows us to post about the good and the bad that we go through. We do this so we can pray for one another and be there for everyone. Like I said, you will never be alone once you’re a GRT. This event took place in Santa Monica, starting and ending at the pier. It was lead by Cadre Flash, with a little surprise visit from Cadre Big Daddy.

Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.

Isaiah 41:10

When we got to the top of a near by trail that we hiked up, we were able to do a Q & A with Flash. It was a really awesome opportunity to ask whatever we wanted about his life and the special operations military branches. We also went around and shared why we chose to do Goruck. I didn’t share at the time because I hadn’t finished yet. Honestly, I didn’t want to jinx myself and not finish… Why I chose to do the Goruck Challenge…

I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

Phillippians 4:13

2 years ago I was diagnosed with a rare heart disease. Getting news like that is scary and somewhat lonesome. But what was really lonely was the fact that I couldn’t do any physical activity what so ever without passing out. I was also diagnosed with fibromyalgia, and well, that just sucks. My goal was to not let these issues stop me from living. I’ve trained hard and worked closely with doctors to get me where I am today. I’m not just living, it’s good living!

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I decided to do Goruck because I wanted to be able to prove to myself that I can do this! I wanted to be there to support my teammates that are going through their own issues, and I wanted to feel the support from my class, even if I had just met them! After going through 12 hours of hell with each other, you’ll be supportive friends for sure. I couldn’t have asked for a better group of crazies!

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My body may have taken a beating, but yes, I do plan on doing it again! I prayed every hour during the event and I can honestly say that I felt the strength God gave to me. I will be doing more events for sure! I earned my grey patch, and now I have the need for a blue one! I do plan on keeping up on the work outs and eating right because without the 21 day fast, I would never have been prepared physically or mentally for this.

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The Right Pace

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So I have accomplished a very successful 21 days of doing the Daniel Fast. I will admit, I cheated once and ate a bite of my moms homemade pineapple upside down cake- it was delicious, but full of refined sugar. Other than that, my Lord and savior provided for me. He gave me the strength and courage to get through so much! A lot has been going on lately in my life personally, but with His grace, I’ve been just right! Here was my last devotional from the church for the fast…

“Day 21

Prayer direction:

Pray that God’s favor might be upon your family and our church as we continue to put Him first in all things.

From the Desk of Pastor Dawn Jackson…

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 2 Timothy 4:7 NIV

Long-distance runners know to make it over the long haul, you’ve got to have a steady pace. Run too fast, and you will burn out early and end up sidelined. Run too slow, and you minimize the potential within you. Running the right pace speeds you to the finish line and prevents injury and burnout.

Pace is also important in life. We often overestimate what we can accomplish in a short amount of time and underestimate what we can accomplish in a long amount of time. We live in a fast-paced world. Many people rush to and from exhausted at the end of each day, with nothing left to give to those closest to them. This results in shallow relationships and regret. Of course, on the other side of the spectrum are those who spin their wheels, never seeming to move forward, aimlessly distracted by insignificant pursuits.

Think also about the pace in which you live your life. With 21 days coming to an end, now would be a good time to make the necessary adjustments so that you might truly finish the race he has called you to run. Consider the following acronym as a guide in developing your pace:

Prioritize. Focus on what is most important.

Assign times of work and rest.

Consistency: doing what you say you are going to do.

Enjoy the journey.

God desires for us to have a full, abundant life, filled with meaningful relationships and the satisfaction of accomplishing purposes which honor his name. A healthy pace will empower you to both accomplish your tasks and build solid relationships.

The Lord is my pace setter…I shall not rush.

He makes me stop for quiet intervals.
He provides me with images of stillness which restore my serenity.
He leads me in the way of efficiency through calmness of mind and his guidance is peace.
Even though I have a great many things to accomplish each day, I will not fret, for his presence is here.
His timelessness, his all importance will keep me in balance.
He prepares refreshment and renewal in the midst of my activity by anointing my mind with his oils of tranquility.
My cup of joyous energy overflows.
Truly harmony and effectiveness shall be the fruits of my hours for I shall walk in the Pace of my Lord and dwell in his house for ever.
A Japanese version of the 23rd Psalm by Tokio Megashio.”

Even now that it is over, I still eat healthy (but not as healthy..) and I am still keeping my faith clear of distractions. Nothing processed about my faith! Living and loving life, with a purpose!

Not-So-Far, So Good

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I know it’s only the fourteenth day into the new year, but week two of fifty-two has gone great! This year is looking good so far! I’m sticking to my fasting diet, working out everyday, and last two Mondays I’ve taken food for the homeless with me on my run with my friends running team. I’ve gone from being the worlds bottomless pit for food to a vegan, practically! Working out everyday is already kind of my normal so that hasn’t been much of a challenge. But carrying 20+ extra pounds on my back while running through LA was interesting.

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I’m half way through with my fast and already feeling stronger in my faith. This fast has really helped me clear away all distractions from my sight and really see what God wants me to do! I am much more confident that I am living the life He has set for me! This bumpy road of a path is bearable knowing He’s the one paving the way! I’m making clearer decisions and feeling good about them. Doing this fast, I’ve learned a lot about myself! Things like how much I love seafood, and cheese with my fruit! Ha! No, but really. I can already feel the stronger relationship I’ve built with God these past 10 days have been glorious!

What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can that faith save him? If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled,” without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that? So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.

James 2:14-17

I’ve also realized that my journey isn’t about me. I was put on this earth to love others. I have stuck with it and fed the homeless on my last two Monday night runs through Los Angeles. The team is running through Hollywood this month and it been quite beautiful! To see someone struggle during these runs isn’t something that makes you proud to be doing better, but something that slows you down so you can run with them, lift their spirits, and encourage your teammates to continue pushing! Runners do it for me and I’ve done it for them.

Although it’s only been two weeks into the new year, I’ve already grown this far, and have learned so much! I hope I have inspired more people to live their life with healthier habits and also let The Lord live through them! We can all help ourselves while helping others!

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